I AM A SOCKTARD.

oh pooh. i screwed up my papers. and i plan on telling my parents tonight.. eek!! here's what the cruddy results look like..

math - a2
eng - a2
art - b4
chem - c5
lit - c6 (only god knows how i scrwed up lit..)
chinese - d7
bio - d7
geog - d7 ( i think)
history - d7

GOD HELP ME!! i shall enjoy my freedom while it lasts... by the way.. my links are still scrwed up.. so yea... but my tagboard's up and running again!! haha. i got booked for "misconduct" today... ya wanna know whyyy? cause stacey, sher, debo and i was doing some weird hand game shiatt on the white boarded up thingy outside class and while everyone was out having recess and no one was having lessons.. we apparantly disturbed my cross eyed freak of a chinese teacher who by the way, looks like a potato. hmph. so she got a couple of our prefect friends to bloody book us. fudgin annoying. POOP!!! have i mentioned how much i haaate our school? well i doo.

blah.. i was so fudged up when i realised that the teachers knew about IT i was all like... holy crud!! provocative? right. comeon.. have a nice day all. should i change to lj or xanga? seems funner... BYE BYE NIGHTY NIGHT!!!...sorta..

heyhey.. i made the stupidest mistake of talking to my daddy about blogs.. now he's intent on finding mine.. god help me. i skipped school today.. cause my dad forgot to wake me up till it was like.. 7.30 so he let me skip. whee!! haha apparantly according to kail, there were three dayam hot guys at our school. pfft. they went to burgerking today.. i wonder if they learnt how to make burgers... I KNOW HOW TO MAKE MAC AND CHEEEESE!! haha.. i leart how to make mac and cheese from some site.. hahaha.. maybe i'll become like a chef when i'm old.. then i can be like betty crocker!!! and make some instant pancake mix... hmm..

anyways.. i'm going to holland v tomorrow with kail and van.. yinli might come too.. shit lah.. my mom's being a bitch.. again. she said i'm acting like a bloody mobster.. maybe i should start talkin in one of those mafia men accents.. i think it's funky... hahaha. oh pah. she's making me get off the computer.. doing her sarcastic thing again. fudged up crap. ANYWAAAY!!... buh bye buh bye buh bye see ya!!! wheee!

ooooh... second post in a day... i felt real sick after my daddy forced me to eat dinner... got a fudgin throbbing headache.. i don't think i can exercise tonight.. i feel horrid. blah.. my uncle gave me these weights so i can strengthen my arms and they SuperdyDooperdyDooperdyPooperdyLooperdyMooperdy tiny!! haha and they're just right for me. so that probably means i'm just reeeeal weak.. hahaha.. oh!!

i can't wait till try outs for cheerobics '06... eeeek!! i've gotta start losing weight and... omigod my ponch thingy's baack!!! that means i'm fatter than i used to be!! oh god i feel horrid now.. hahaha... i can't do as many sit ups as i used to be able to... oh phooey.. haha. we're starting training again on monday!!! oh happy day!!! oh zipadeedoodahzipadeedaay!! my oh my what a wonderful day!!

i'm talking to my honey on the phooone.. it's so fun talking to her. it's like.. she's my crapping partner..blah

i am wrong. `

HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO!!!!

i'm baaack!!.. from school.. i've been on blog holiday and left my blog here to rot and die.. hahaha... i went for musical auditions today... i think i did pretty ok...not good not bad.. just. ok. haha... i sang super loudly and emma and delia could hear me outside the room.. HAHA.. i never knew my voice could go all AAAAHHHH-LOOK-AT-ME-I'M-LOUUUUUDDD-LISTEN-TO-WHAT-I'M-SAYING-CAUSE-I-CURTSEY-TO-TEACHERS-AND-SAY-THANK-YOU-IN-WEIRD-VOICES-WHICH-MAKE-EM-LAUGH-ish... it was kinda odd and i did my monolouge scripty thingy as some girl called rebecca who was obsessed with robin hood stories and little fantasy worlds in a super fake brit accent. and and and.. she was fighting with her mommy over scrubbin the floors... and drubbing people. it was daaayam odd. kail went all wowy when she sang the lion king song and sher got all nervous... OOOOOHHH LISTEN UP PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE!!! ......i won batteries... how cool is thaaaat!!! hahaha... i'm kidding.. i won em when i went up to answer some question at the gp batteries talk they gave us today.. the guy was all like... wwwaaaaaan(one).. chuuuuu(two).... chuu an ah hafff (two and a half)... *giggle giggle snort snort choke*.... thfreeee!!!! (three)... god knows SOMEONE needs speech lessons!! hahaha... i think i'm one sad little girl... i still have tuition after my exams.. it's damn annoying.... pahh.... i have math tonight and i'm sitting here in my stinky ol' uniform still eating little jellies which i used to choke on when i was a kid... ohhh those were the days. hahaha.

i didn't eat recess and lunch today. which is a pretty big accomplishment for me. however i ruined the beauty of not eating and putting on weight by totally binging on mcwings after auditions. pfft. i got into house of wax last friday. that was pretty cool. it was a really bad story but the effects and stuff were pretty dayam good!! and it was really sick SHIT gotta go tuition teacher here.. BYE

i realised something today... it just hit me...loving you just isn't worth the pain. it just isn't... you confused me. maybe that's why i even liked you. cause you were different... i'm just feelin cruddy right now... we got bloody third for cheerobics.we didn't win. all i want to do now. is cry. maybe if one deay... the impossible happened and you liked me back... i don't know if i would even be happy... i was just stupid... acting the way i am around everyone else,happy, hyper, bimbo, air-headed, optimistic... it makes me sick to think i acted in that way... and it makes me wonder sometimes, if i was the real me. would my friends still love me the way they do now? would i still in considerably accepted? i don't think so... maybe it's just better to stay fake and plastic. might as well stick a price tag on me ... this broken bitch's on sale now... come and kill her...

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever,have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything up to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the wordsB
ut they don't come out right
Have you ever,have you ever

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for that day when they will care

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever,have you ever

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep

Have you ever?

;i have

crud...the blog skin's giving my computer and everyone elses' computers a hell lot of problems. It's annoying as hell. I've decided that i'm bloody useless in the squad. I never do anything important there. Is it so bad to think that way? I mean, sure i turn up for training and all, but i hardly do anything there! The only stunts i base for are elevators, and i only spot for waterfall, fly back, and pike kick flyback. It's kinda silly i think. I bet next year, loads of sec ones will get in and i'd probably be like rejected when i turn up for the interview thing. I really want to learn the stuff some of the other are learning. Like Trudy's teaching Joy how to do a front walk, Sujun, Shumei, Alexis, Chloe are learning how to do back flips and I'm like the only one there who can't do a proper round-off, heck, i haven't even tried!! I want to learn those things, yet i know i'll be real bad at it, which kinda puts me off. I'm starting to think Dion regrets selecting me to join the squad, and i've been feeling really bad over it. I'm scared. I'm really really really scared. And the scariest thing is that i don't even know why i'm scared. I've had dreams of screwing up nationals for the squad and i don't want that to happen. I want my simple stunts to go up. Or even if it falls i hope it still recovers. Is that too much to ask? Maybe so. I always feel nauseas nowadays. I just don't mention it during training, i don't dare too. Nationals are so soon. I don't want the squad to think that just because i'm feeling unwell. Then i won't train. Life's a bitch, a pain in the ass too. I think the judges hate me, though they don't even know me. I think the squad hates me, I get real bad vibes from them. I think Saranjit and all the teachers hate me, for really good reasons. I think i'm gonna throw up. who cares. I might just lose weight in the process. He's online. I think I'm getting scared again. I'm such a fucked up piece of crud. Please don't tell me I think life is meaningless once again. Give me a reason to live. I'm begging you. I think i should just sod off and make everyone happy.

Sleep with all the lights on.
You're not so happy.
You're not secure.
You're dying to look cute in your blue jeans,
but you're plastic just like everyone.
You're just like everyone.
And that face you paint is pressed
impressing most of us as permanent
and I'd like to see you undone.

College night will draw the crowds.
Dorms unload & your heading out.
Here is your moment to shine.
Making up a history.
It's nothing from the life you lead
but man, will they buy all your lines?

Sleep with all the sheets off
baring your mattress
baring your soul.
And you're dying to look smooth with your tattoos
but you're searching
just like everyone
could be anyone.
And the friends that you have are the best
impressing most of us as permanent
and I'd like to see you undone.
Youth's the most unfaithful mistress.
Still we forge ahead to miss her.
Rushing our moment to shine.

Making up a history,
It's nothing from the life you lead
but man, I hope they find all of your lies.

We're not twenty-one,
but the sooner we are,
the sooner the fun will begin,
so get out your fake eyelashes,
and fake i.d's,
& real disasters ensue,
it's cool to take these chances.
It's cool to fake romances & grow up fast.

today was the prelims for NATIONALS ... i was horribly scared and nervous... but smiled like an idiot none the less.. haha. we got into the finals... thank god. and it's on the thriteenth of march, sunday, down at suntec outside carre four... the judges told us not to put on so much make up... HAHAHA ...TAKE THAT DION!!! i think that overall... we were pretty good and that if all the stunts went up.. like the waterfall, pike kick that kinda stuff.... we probably would have gotten more points... just finished washing off all the icky glittery blue stuff on my face... and my hair feels strange after all that hair spray and gel...haha. going for a squad dinner tomorrow... and i feel absoulutely exhausted... sonik was pretty good... northbrooks as well.. the judges said that northbrooks' dance movements were real sharp... personally... i think mine kinda look like slop... i mean... i can't dance for nuts... but thank god my elevator goes up more easily than before....

saw angie and jen today during the competition... (: was nice to see them come for my competition... vick and all came too... but i couldn't relly talk to them considering some stuff which i shall not mention here... hahaha... and then half my smoked salmon sandwich fell on the stairs... i hope no one saw that... hehehe... you know what? i think that concentrating on cheerleading makes me feel a whole lot better... i mean... even though i ain't good at tumbling.. stunts... or even dancing... it's nice to try and concentrate on it... ittakes your mind off thing and sometimes... you feel a sense of satisfaction when you've reached your goals... it's great really... you guys should try it (: it's like therapy... but fun... haha... i'm so fudgin weird i scare myself.

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face
And Nobody's gonna bring me down today
Been feeling like nothing's been going my way lately
But I decided right here, right now, that my outlook's gonna change
That's why I'm gonna
Say goodbye to all the tears I've cried
Everytime somebody hurt my pride
Feelin' like they won't let me live life
And take the time to look at what is mine

I see every blessing so clearly
And I thank God for what I got from above

Chorus:I believe they can take anything from me
But they can't succeed in taking my inner peace from me
They can say all they wanna say about me
But I'm gonna carry on (Carry on)
I'mma keep on (keep on) singin' my song

(La, la, la, etc.)

I never wanna dwell on my pain again
There's no use in relivin' how I hurt back then
Rememberin' too well the hell I felt when I was runnin' out of faith
Every step I'm 'bout to take well it's towards a better day
Cause I'm about to
Say farewell to every single lie
And all the fears I've held too long inside
Everytime I felt I couldn't try
All the negativity and strife

Cause too long, I've been strugglin', couldn't go on
But now I've found I'm feelin' strong and I'm moving on

Chorus:I believe they can take anything from me
But they can't succeed in taking my inner peace from me
They can say all they wanna say about me
But I'm gonna carry on, (carry on)
I'mma keep on (keep on) singin' my song

Every time I tried to be what they wanted from me
It never came naturally, so I ended up in misery
Was unable to see all the good around me
Wasting so much energy on what they thought of me
Than simply just remembering to breathe
I've learned I'm humanly unable to please everyone at the same time
So now I find my peace of mind living one day at a time

In the end I answer to one god
Comes down to one love till I get to heaven above

I have made the decision
Never to give in
Till the I day I die no matter what
Im gonna carry on,
I'mma keep on singin' my song
(They can't take anything from me)

Repeat Chorus x2